Friday, October 9, 2015

The relativity of being nice...

As always I was talking to someone and they were telling me about an issue they have been having with another person. Apparently this person isn't exactly nice when they have simple issues that can be resolved if they'd only understand and trust the situation. The person to whom I spoke ended by saying that this person who can be not so nice in many instances is actually nice. So, ahmmm. I'm trying to understand something here. Someone freaks out on you by treating in any manner, you haven't done anything wrong, they lash out at you when it pleases them and that person is nice?

When the conversation ended it made me wonder, what IS nice? I like to look up the definition of words when persons use them and it doesn't seem to fit into the context of what their situation is. So according to Google the word 'nice' means: giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive. Synonyms:enjoyable, pleasant, pleasurable, agreeable, delightful, satisfying, gratifying, acceptable, to one's liking, entertaining, amusing, diverting, marvellous, good. 

Ok. So now that we have defined what nice is, I would like to believe that this person isn't nice. At least when they need to be they are not. So let's work with one of the synonyms. Let us use 'agreeable'. Nice people usually agrees to everything. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that I should agree to jump off a cliff if you asked me to, BUT, I wouldn't jump off a cliff because in the end it isn't nice for me to do if I am a nice person. I hope you're not loosing me here. In other words, genuinely nice people do things that are nice. So if I am a nice person and you ask me to jump off a cliff I won't because it isn't something a nice person would. I guess that is why they refer to suicide victims and persons with the tendency to commit suicide as 'selfish'.

I always say that nice is relative, because we don't truly know people until we know them. Come see me and come live with me are two entirely different things.

So the next time you want to wonder if someone is nice, just look into their actions, the way they treat everyone in general. If that person treats everyone they don't live with nice and treat you not so nice, then that person really, isn't, nice are they?

Food for thought.